You Only Connect With A Few!

Connections matter. Every connection we make shapes our minds, our future, and our view of life. Some connections are brief, and others last a lifetime. All your connections, whether it’s a friendship, relationship, or something else, are meant to satisfy one of the most basic human needs, belonging.

Allow me to take you back in time a little

The very first connection we make is unintentional. We connect to our mother in the womb. If it’s a surrogate mother, we feel her. We feel her heart, her joy, her sadness, and all her feelings, even her bowel movements. After we are born, we can barely see, but there are other people who are trying to connect with us. Ideally, we experience that we are the center of affection and attention. Connecting is almost natural.

As children, we learn how to make friends and rarely change tactics. We form friendships not only to cooperate with and depend on people outside of our family but also to make alliances, share knowledge and grow together.

When we are young, it is easy to find friends. It’s easy because adults around us set up games to work together, play together, and we usually enjoy these times. Kids also laugh a lot more than an average adult, and in my humble opinion, that’s one of the key factors in friendships. When you smile, you elevate your mood thanks to serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. Smiling also makes you likable, and it’s contagious. Imagine if you would spend your working hours with likable people in a fun environment. You would feel less stressed for sure.

Also, what I observed as a child is that I didn’t overthink whether I trusted the other person or not. There was no second chance. I found no excuses for their poor behaviour. I didn’t rationalize whether the other had a right or not. Everything felt simple.

My method

I was like a book. Open to everyone. I shared my opinion and thoughts on whatever topic. Being vulnerable from the start was a bold move. It took me a long time to find real friends — those special connections. Once I got them, I found freedom.
If you think that it is very common to find someone who loves you the way you are, who effortlessly understands you, and who knows where you are coming from as a person, you are wrong. It’s rare. And you should stick with those people and hold them tight. If you have this kind of friendship, cherish it. Take care of it, and never let go.
If you do let go, you bed for loneliness. Special connections are hard to find but not impossible.

Finding friends as an adult is a different story. If you lose your friend or friends for some reason, you are probably trying to find connections in your nearest neighborhood. The place where you spend most of your time. People who work a lot usually seeking for friends at their workplace or near their workplace.
If you have a hobby you love, you’ll probably find friends when you pursue your hobby. Some groups are more specific, like mother groups.
At first glance, you might think that the only thing you and your mommy friends have in common is that you’re having a baby at more or less the same time. If you are open-minded, you will have the chance to see that you have a lot in common. And it’s true for almost everyone. And whether they will stand the test of time is another story.

Stay connected!