Why You Should Help Your Kids Fall Asleep?
How going to bed with your kids will help you develop new ideas? Even more, it is not only beneficial for you but also for your children. Let me explain.
Trusting and Sleeping
Co-sleeping is not the best for the adults. Your sleep will be disturbed, you might find it harder to fall asleep again, and you probably will sleep more superficially. Sounds bad, right? It is, actually. Getting less sleep is hard. You might feel less energised, your focus won’t be the same thanks to the unstable energy level you have. I hope you don’t hear it from me the first time, but being a parent can mean that you lose a lot of good stuff in your life for a short period of time — and a good night’s sleep is one of them. Be sure that your immune system won’t like it either.
Co-sleeping is a decision you can make. There are many ways to help kids fall asleep alone when they are ready for it. In fact, in my experience, in the first two to three months, they are good to sleep alone in the crib until they feel hungry. You can decide to co-sleep or not. Whichever you choose, you have to be sure because babies can smell indecisiveness.
Historically, families slept together. Medieval records of European sleeping habits as early as the fifth century show that sleep was a social and communal practice where it was not uncommon to receive visitors into the bedroom or for many family members to sleep in the same bed.
Only around the fifteenth century did it become more common for families to sleep in different rooms. Separate bedrooms were indicators of wealth. In fact, nowadays, it is almost mandatory to sleep separately. Even though some children happily sleep together with their siblings. It’s a biological instinct to sleep with our loved ones. We want to hear, smell, and touch them. To know they are safe. Especially when it comes to children. Human babies are one of the most immature mammals at birth, needing relatively more nurturing than other mammals.
So, what is it in this for children?
They will feel safe, protected, accepted, and loved, which is vital for their development. I love to witness how they fall asleep. Being in a quiet room, lying in a bed where I can hear my kids breathe, and then I feel their bodies loosen. To be fair, waiting for my kids to fall asleep is not boring. I have plenty of time to think in silence.
Well, yeah, after the rituals, which include drinking more, peeing again, tossing and turning, drinking even more, etc. I cherish those moments — the silent ones.
Between dreams and reality, the hypnagogic state
What is the hypnagogic state or hypnagogia? Hypnagogia is the transitional state from wakefulness to sleep, also defined as the waning state of consciousness during the onset of sleep. Its opposite state is described as hypnopompia — the transitional state from sleep into wakefulness.
Mental phenomena that may occur during this “threshold consciousness” phase include hypnagogic hallucinations, lucid dreaming, and sleep paralysis. Threshold consciousness — commonly called “mind awake, body asleep” — describes the same mental state of someone who is moving towards sleep or wakefulness but has not yet completed the transition.
Such transitions are usually brief but can be extended by sleep disturbance or deliberate induction, for example, during meditation. Hypnagogia may involve a “loosening of ego boundaries … openness, sensitivity, internalization-subjectification of the physical and mental environment (empathy) and diffuse-absorbed attention.
Many artists, writers, scientists, and inventors — including Beethoven, Richard Wagner, Salvador Dalí, Thomas Edison, Nikola Tesla, and Isaac Newton — have credited hypnagogia and related states with enhancing their creativity.
It’s a wonderful place. My best ideas come from that precious state. Too bad that I’m not always able to write down everything I think during that state. Those thoughts fade easily, just as dreams do.
In his book Zen and the Brain, James H. Austin cites speculation that regular meditation develops a specialized skill of “freezing the hypnagogic process at later and later stages” of the onset of sleep, initially in the alpha wave stage and later in theta.
I wonder if this has anything to do with people who feel enlightened. They might reach this state and suddenly have an idea of how the world, society, religion, or basically how their life works, and that’s it. They feel they know all the answers because it seems clear.
Use the time for meditation
Amidst the growing popularity of stoic philosophy, I feel that there’s a rising awareness of the importance of meditation. I hear more and more about how it is worth taking time to practice meditation. That being said, I believe that there are many forms of meditation. But I will cover this in another story.
If your schedule is hectic and you can’t squeeze in meditation, I recommend trying out the way I do it.
I’m with the kids in their bed. After reading a bedtime story, we talk through our days and say good night to each other. Soon, they slowly fall asleep. I stay five minutes more, and I meditate with my eyes closed.
No noise disturbs the tranquility of the room or my peace. As I go about my evening, I feel more rested and patient. And hopefully, I won’t fall asleep, but that’s the hardest part.
Children learn good rituals
When you go to bed together, you unwittingly develop bedtime habits. Kids love habits and rituals. Well, people love habits and rituals of all ages.
I deliberately use the word ritual here because, to me, rituals are viewed as more meaningful practices that have a sense of purpose. You can use a nice scent, something that helps you feel relaxed. I have a scent for every season, but I don’t take it too seriously. This summer, I totally forgot about my diffuser.
When we go to bed, I also dim the lights, and we read a nice book.
Usually, the kids decide what they want to hear. Their vocabulary expands. They speak more selectively because they like to use new words.
Reading for them also fosters honest conversations. It’s also the best time for a little philosophizing or exercising gratitude.
Thank you for reading me!
Feel free to share your rituals and habits in the comment section. Thank you for liking or sharing.
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The Witty Witch