Pop The Pills

Is it ethical to take antidepressants if you are a highly sensitive person? I mean if you are just a highly sensitive person. Isn’t it part of this kind of life to feel all the emotions in all degrees?

Why do others think is bad?

Who should judge?

Where is my right?

Should I let someone else decide for me?

I was on the beach on a sunny Wednesday. The wind and the water were chilly so I spent my time on the deck instead.

I was wondering what happened to me.

Last year every time I came to the beach, I got an idea to write about.

I was on the beach for half an hour and came home and wrote a piece about my thoughts, like Emotions Comes In Waves and Find The Rainbow of Hope.

It was exciting every time. I felt I was growing.

Last year I had an open mind and soul. Something struck me while swimming, I was vigilant and observant of everything and everyone around me. I was seeking wisdom.

Now I’m not, so started to wonder why is that.

I have changed. I was always full of heart. Whatever I did I did it with all my energy. Applying for a job? Getting rejected? Ups and downs, high hopes, and devastating news. I was an alpinist and a deep diver.

I started to use my head more and more instead of my heart.

Is this apathy? Is this the pills? Is this part of changing my mindset? Or just a mix of these? All of these? I’m no longer an alpinist nor a deep diver. I’m just a regular hiker. I miss the mountains, I miss the pressure.

Or was I just there for too long that I think that is how I am supposed to live?

When I was a little girl we used to go to the swimming pool every Sunday. I had my turquoise swim belt under my arms. I was floating all day while my shoulders were in a very bad position. I looked like I shrugged once and my shoulders stayed up. I got used to this position. I cherish those memories.

My father was talking with his friends and I was floating once in warm water and then in a colder one. A little bit of sauna and a quick dip in the ice-cold pool. At the end of the day, the swim belt was off and I still could feel my body sway with the water. In my sleep, I was floating left and right and I missed the water around me.

But hey, I’m not a fish or a sailor. I should be able to enjoy the ground under my feet. Eventually, I did, and maybe that’s where I am right now.

The swim belt is off, now it’s time to walk. Should I be able to enjoy walking if I was floating for so long? Is it bad to prefer floating instead of walking?

Or I need medicine because everyone else prefers walking and I want to fit in. Do I have to fit in? Is that a must? Will I fit in just because I reduced my sensitivity? Do I really want that?

So what if I am prone to depression because of my sensitivity? I’m not violent. No one is in danger, not even me. I can handle loneliness. We are friends. Depression to me is a big drop in the water. It creates waves and circles. It disturbs the balance but eventually, the ripples fade away.

Is it ethical to take medication just to make the fading quicker?

Feel free to express yourself.

Thank you for reading!

The Witty Witch