Irrational True Love

There is this book, The Art of Loving, by Erich Fromm. This book lives in my head absolutely rent-free. In this economy, that is unacceptable. I tried to summarize, but I couldn’t. So, I have to let go in pieces.

This one is about the irrational love. Enjoy!

The great love - the idolatrous love - that you see in every romantic movie over and over again, exactly until they are in love. It’s an easy trap to fall into.

But, oh, it’s hard to get out. Seems like a never-ending circle.

Oh, this love.

You know, the one where you idolize your partner. When the other is everything. The sun, the moon, the light, the fire, and so on.

How do you know you are in great love?

You lose your strength and lose yourself in the loved one instead of finding and discovering your true self. While great love is meant to portray the intensity and depth of love, it only demonstrates the hunger and despair of the one idolizing it.

How long can you be in this love?

Not too long. Usually, no one can live up to the high expectations, so you will be disappointed at some point. This feeling is strong. As your need to alienate yourself from your own power and project it onto the loved person is also strong, you will move on and find another idol. I mean, don't get me wrong. I say all these things based on Fromm.

How do I get out?

In short, work on yourself. Have a sense of identity. Question your choices in life, question everything, and find your answers. Research, read, and learn about yourself. What do you like? What do you need? What is your opinion? Start a self-love journey.

What’s the worst that can happen?

Well, it’s not rare that two idolizing people find each other. In extreme cases, it can become a folie à deux, also known as shared delusional disorder (SDD).

If you find yourself in a relationship where you are socially and physically isolated from your friends or family, please check on that link for your sake.

Thank you for reading!

Take care, love birds!

The Witty Witch