All Women Desire One Thing!

Stop the madness, we can now agree that every woman desires one thing. I found the answer in an old Canterbury tale.

The Wife of Bath’s tale instantly became my favourite tale of all time. 

Here is the original piece. When I first read a few days ago, I was flabergasted how on Earth we forgot to share this story? Why do people write books and try to solve a “mystery” that has already been solved in the 12th century?

What is preventing us from giving women what they want?

Why do we look for what is different in men and women instead of all the other things we share dearly?

So, here is the tale briefly. Translated from Hungarian to English in a short, easy-to-digest form, adding some extra unnecessary sass.

Imagine: the time and place we live in is in King Arthur’s kingdom. There is this knight who is the full package: handsome, strong, brave.

One day, the knight rape a young maiden. King Arthur sentenced him to death. But the queen, being wise, thinks the knight’s death would solve nothing and asks for the king to let her decide the fate of the knight. The king is fine with it, so the queen elaborates. The queen says, "Give him a second chance, give him a chance to learn and understand that what he did was wrong."

The queen, being this generous, gives the knight a year and a day to discover what women want, what is their only desire. He can go wherever the fuck he wants, but must return in a year and a day with his answer.

The knight goes around the world, asking anyone willing to talk to him about women and their desires. Obviously, everyone seems to know the answer, but it’s no help for the knight because no two answers are the same. After a year goes by, he gives up, and on the way back to the queen, he lets his horse lead the way.

The horse, as a naturally intelligent animal, leads the knight to the woods. In the woods, the knight spots an old woman. The old woman is ugly as hell, and the knight would rather not look at her, but she addresses the knight. The old gal tells the knight that he seems lost and sad, and she knows why. She also happens to know the answer to the question he is seeking. She will tell the knight if he promises to grant a wish she asks of him. In return, in the future.

No spoilers, no real deal. Absolute surprise.

The knight finds this sketchy, but he has no real options, so he agrees.

The knight returns, and he tells the queen that he believes

What women want most is sovereignty.

The queen nods, her besties nod. The knight is free.

In the minute the knight tastes his new freedom, the fugly lady from the woods is there with her wish. She wants to marry the knight. (Why, tho? No one asks, no one knows.)

The knight hesitates but agrees, and they are married now.

On their wedding night, the knight tosses and turns. He doesn’t want to get physical with the missus. Since the old lady is wise, she asks the knight if the problem is her lack of beauty.

The knight is honest and straightforward, because this knight learned only one thing and forgot to try to see women as human beings, not just decorative maids.

The pillow talk begins.

She says if she were beautiful, other guys might desire her, and she might not be as faithful as she is now when she is ugly. On the other hand, she is true and loyal. You know, because she is ugly. Like if you are ugly, you are absolutely loyal, but if you happen to have excellent facial symmetry and beauty, then you must cheat. Can't argue with this logic.

She says she can be anything, but the knight has to choose. And he says: Whatever…

Just kidding, the knight says, "The choice is yours!", because he learned the lesson. This one only. Nothing but this.

So the old and fugly lady transforms into a young, beautiful, loyal, and true wife. What a happy ending?!

I mean, the ending smells like propaganda, but kudos to the queen who tried to educate people. They forgot to punish the knight’s rapist ass, but whatever. Let's overlook a rape. This story is not about the needlessly raped maid. Also, why does the witch have to be beautiful if she can be anything?

So many questions, but at least we can all agree that women want sovereignty.

I’m definitely into that.

Thanks for reading me.